Tap into your love language.
As we close off the month of Love (February), I thought it only fitting to dive deep into Love itself. Today, we will take a closer look into the five love languages, what they are, help you discover yours…and ultimately show you how to tap into an abundance of love, to not only fill your cup, but also the love bucket of others.
Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a book on what he calls “The five love languages.”
1. Words of Affirmation – To Use positive words of appreciation and praise to uplift someone.
2. Quality Time – To Give undivided attention to someone and express love around togetherness.
3. Giving Gifts – To Show love or appreciation with a small or extravagant sentimental gift or gesture.
4. Acts of Service – To help and go out of your way to physically ease responsibilities and burdens.
5. Physical Touch – To touch in a loving and affectionate way.
How to satisfy your love language.
Once you have figured out your love language, how do you satisfy it?
The only way you could ever experience love and give genuine love, is by establishing a relationship with Jesus. You see, because he speaks each one of these love languages fluently, he’s the only hope you have at tapping into true love. Love in all shapes and forms, come from God. Anything other than pursing God’s love and purpose for you, is meaningless. You’ll be chasing the love you crave from other sources, and will end up unsatisfied and highly disappointed, as perfect love only comes from God. When you feel loved, it’s coming from God, because God is love (1 John 4:8). And if you’re hung up on something that is not rooted in God’s word, it is imitation. And I don’t know about you, but I prefer to have the real deal love over anything else.
God speaks all 5 love languages.
He personalizes his way of loving you.
God will speak to you in all 5 love languages. Like, your heavenly father has you covered - You don’t even need to depend on receiving the love you need from your partner or anyone else as they are human and flawed. Learn how to get what you need, from God. And in return, he’ll fill you up with the fruits of the spirit, to help you give love. A lot of times people have a difficult time showing love, because they feel as though they have not been receiving love. This is where Jesus comes in to save the day, once again.
Jesus is your reference on how to love. Love is a choice. A choice to put someone else's needs, before your own. Kind of like when Jesus gave up his life, for yours; That love is real and unconditional.
God’s Affirmations – when you spend time in God’s word, he reminds you who you are, in Christ. He confirms everything he has ever promised and speaks directly to you.
God’s quality time – God is always available to spend each and every moment with you. He’s always ready to fellowship with you.
God’s giving – as if assuring your spot in heaven wasn’t enough when he gifted you Jesus, God is eager to shower you with blessings. It’s his favorite to see you smile.
God’s servant-hood – He stepped down from heaven, to feel your pain, rejection and heartbreak. God wants to lighten your heavy burdens. Jesus said “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” – (Matthew 11:28-30)
God’s physical touch – when you pray to God, think of it as an intimate conversation with him. It is in those moments, when you will feel God’s embrace. He physically hugs you with his everlasting arms and whispers to you “everything is going to be okay – trust me”
For the past several months my husband has been traveling for work. At first, each night was miserable as I craved his warmth. But as time has passed, I’ve learned to lean on God. As I pray to God and tell him all about my day, thank him for all the things that went right, and ask him to help me with all the things that have gone wrong, he hugs me and wraps me in his peace to the point where I end up falling asleep like a baby. No more feeling lonely each night, because God is Physically embracing me to sleep. His love fills in every hole of my heart, and he can do the same for you.
The Caveat here is YOU have to be open and willing to receive his love. You have to get into the word and seek him, to find him. You have to give him your time, for him to spend it with you. You have to become vulnerable, in order to receive his gifts. You have to be willing to let him help you, by admitting that you can’t do this thing on your own, and admitting you need Jesus. You have to let down your guard and allow him to embrace you with his love and peace. Girl, you just have to literally give your entire life to him. Trust him with your love - He won’t disappoint you.
Cling to Jesus and Ignore the enemy.
Jesus personalizes his love, for you. The bible has many examples of different ways people felt Jesus’ love. But if you’re not careful and consistently staying close to him, it can be easy to fall into a loveless trap.
A loveless trap is the enemy’s favorite game to play. The enemy delights in manipulating every situation, to trick you into thinking God doesn’t love you. When we give into his lie, we start reacting from a place of hate – not love. The enemy knows that God’s love for you is your strongest weapon – so he attacks it.
The enemy will have you question God’s love for you. Like, why would he allow hardships into your life? Why do the people you love hurt you the most? Why hasn’t God answered your prayer? You know, that fearful way of thinking the enemy loves to throw into your mind. Don’t listen to that miserable jerk!
Furthermore, every time you get into an argument with your loved ones or anyone for that matter, it’s the enemy creeping his claws in. Identify when the enemy is using conflicts with those around you, and at that very moment tap into your Jesus.
Jesus’ was able to love those who didn’t believe who he said he was, those who rejected him. The same people he healed and loved, betrayed him. And the only thing he was hanging onto, was God’s word and his love to save you.
How to apply your love language (hint: make all of them your love language)
You and your loved ones may not speak the same love language, which is why we must learn to become fluent in all five, like Jesus. In this manner, we’ll be able to show others how to love. Be the example, because love is contagious. And wait. Wait on God to make his moves (as he always does) while you continue to be obedient and show love. Even when we’re not getting it back from our spouses, our kids, our friends, family members and even strangers. Show them the love they need to feel. That is how others will be able to experience the love of God. As Christians, we don’t need to feel love from other people, because if you’re walking with the Lord, he’ll provide everything you need. As believers of Christ, we shouldn’t rely on our fragile feelings, because we know that God is Greater than our feelings (1 John 3:20).
So, as you transition out of what I like to call the month of love, may you not forget to keep loving others throughout the upcoming months as well. The world is hurting and fighting a real battle between good and evil. And we all could use some Grace and a whole lot of love.
“ Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8)
With all my love,
Alicia Eve Varela
