Overcoming your feelings.

It’s no secret that we all have struggled at some point or another overcoming how we feel and making hard decisions – despite the undesirable outcome. Or maybe you’ve experienced far too many times of allowing the way you feel dictate how you operate at any given moment. And let’s not even talk about allowing others to affect our mood – but we will talk about that too.

In a recent poll I threw up on my IG stories, I asked you the following three questions:

1. Do you let your feelings dictate your attitude?

2. Does the behavior of others change how you feel?

3. Is it hard for you to share how you feel?

Here were the results:

Do you let your feelings dictate your attitude?

38% of you often allow your feelings to dictate your attitude.

62% of you said that your feelings dictate your attitude, sometimes.

0% of you have never allowed your feelings to get to you.

These results shouldn’t surprise you, as we are all human who experience emotions. Real emotions that hurt us even physically sometimes. Emotion that you can feel deep in your soul. And in turn, translates into our behavior. Speaking about behavior, the results of the next question shouldn’t surprise you either.

Does the behavior of others change how you feel?

15% of you often allow the behavior of others to change how you feel.

77% of you allow the behavior of other to change how you feel, sometimes.

8% of you never allow the behavior of others to change how you feel.

I know at times you want to live in a bubble where you don’t have to deal with people and their annoying habits, but you are not the bubble boy. To be honest, life would be so meaningless and boring without the differences we find within one another. The purpose of this message is to help you control your feelings – even when others are being a jerk or just plain o’ annoying.

Is it hard for you to share how you feel?

27 % of you often find it hard to share how you feel.

40% of you find it hard to share how you feel, sometimes.

33% of you never have an issue sharing how you.

I’m guessing the 33% of you that have no issues sharing how you feel are the spicy ones. But if you’re an introvert like me, and you are hesitant to let people know what you’re feeling, today I hope I’m able to give you ways to not ignore how you feel, but how to interpret those feelings and articulate them to others, in an effective manner.

There are common feelings you may have that keep you from becoming the person God created you to be. The enemy’s job is to steal, kill and destroy the life God wants you to have. And he can do this rather effortlessly by lying to you, in hopes to weaponize these feelings against you.

Guilt

Anger

Weak

Sad

Unqualified

Unmotivated.

We are going to tackle each of these feelings and go over how they do not come from God. We will highlight ways these feelings creep into your life, but also review ways to handle them when they present themselves.

Guilt 

The best way to fight the lies of the enemy is to use scripture. Scripture is your defense. Therefore, when it comes to guilt, let’s look at the following verse:

Romans 8:1 – therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

If you are already in Christ – meaning you have accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior – you don’t have to feel Guilty about things you have done in the past. Once you have confessed your sins to God, and use the help of Jesus to make those lifestyle changes, nothing could hold you down. Why? Because Jesus has already paid the price for all of your sins – past, present and future. You are covered to live a free life. Living in sin and in guilt is a choice. Guilt can show up and paralyze you from moving forward. Guilt keeps you looking back. Instead of feeling guilty about the things you did or even the things you didn’t do yesterday, accept the grace God has gifted you with today. Look at each day as an empty page – it’s up to you what you choose to write on it. You can write the same old stories over and over again, or you can accept your clean slate and make the most out of each blank space on that paper, and fill it up with adventure, love, joy, hard work, and stories of praise as you have nothing stopping you from living life to the fullest – not even guilt.

Anger 

It’s so easy to get angry or offended when you’re living a self-centered life.  Like, why did that person just cut me off, or why is no one listening to me? For me personally, I despise when people lie to me. Overall, I lose my cool when I feel as though I’m being disrespected. Don’t get me wrong, for the most part I’m a patient person, but the moment I feel like someone is lying or disrespecting me, I sassy up real fast. I’m ready to fire back with all my evidence, accompanied by some well thought out insult. But one thing you and I have to keep in mind is that reacting in anger, to another’s actions just creates a divide. Instead of adopting a spirit of anger, adopt a spirit of patience. As patience is what produces peace. (Proverbs 15:18). Having patience gives you power – more power than the prideful. The bible tells us to be patient during tribulation. Therefore, instead of throwing a fit every time you don’t get your way or any time you feel offended, throw you your knees down in prayer. In prayer, you can ask God to give you the patience you need. Being quick to anger just makes you a fool. And I don’t know about you, but I’m no fool.

Ecclesiastes 7:9 “Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resided in the lap of fools."

Weak 

When you feel weak – use it. Use your weakness, and allow God to come in and make you strong. Because the bible tells us this:

Isaiah 40:29 “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”

The power of Christ thrives in your weakness. But a lot of times, you’re either trying to act tough or you hide in your weakness. You either don’t allow Jesus to take control or you are choose to adopt a victim mentality and forget you have all this power, in Christ. When you are feeling weak, you are forgetting where you obtain your strength from. And it’s in those moments when you should seek to dwell in the Lord’s presence and allow him to recharge you.

Sad 

This feeling hurts the most doesn’t it? When you can feel your heart crack from disappointment or loss. This feeling of sadness is the heaviest one to carry. It often creeps up when you’re feeling alone and unheard. Sadness creeps up when you least except it and sobers you up to the reality of this temporary and flawed world. With all that said, it’s important to know where to find refuge in your sadness. It is found in the presence of God. He will never ignore you in your time of need. He will comfort you. He will remember you and he will bless you.

Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted”

Jesus has compassion for you. He understands how much sadness hurts as he too wept. He weeps with you, my sister. Understand you are not alone and from that understanding, you will once again experience the joy you crave.  

Unqualified. 

You might feel like you don’t have the credentials to do what you have always wanted to do. There has been something in your heart that keeps popping up. But then again, you don’t want to be judged by the critics who are sitting on their bottoms, doing absolutely nothing close to what you’re trying to accomplish. So why do you care so much about what people think about you? If God has put something in your heart, he expects you to move on it. Do you not trust him to equip you with what you need for each day?  Honey, sometimes you just need to put one foot in front of the other, and let God do the rest. Will everything be perfect? Probably not - but from the imperfection, you acquire experience - better than textbook knowledge or a shiny framed diploma. Partner up with God in whatever you do, and you will not fail. There will be a lesson, and whatever it is, it will be a piece in your book that God will use to help you complete your purpose.

In Hebrews 13:21, it says that the peace of God will “Equip you with everything good for his doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory for ever and ever. Amen.”

Unmotivated. 

In my opinion, there are two things that you can supplement for motivation and that is remembering the end goal and self-discipline. Remembering the end Goal is fun and easy to do. It’s the self-discipline that takes effort. It’s the self-discipline you try to tip toe around. But mirror the way God acts when it comes to motivating you; when you are obedient - God rewards you. Using the same concept, try attaching a reward for the tasks you need to do. Look at it as a self- discipline hack. The next time you feel like its too hard, or you’re just not “in the mood”, remember why you should, and then attach a reward for yourself AFTER you have done what you said you were going to do.

Feeling guilty, angry, weak, sad, unqualified and unmotivated are basic human emotions. I’m not advising you to ignore these feelings as you will experience them throughout your entire life. I’m providing you with the truth found in God’s word, to help you deal with those feelings and overcome them. And when you learn to overcome these feelings and manage them effectively, it will teach you to be empathetic towards others. Everyone is at different levels in their journey. At the same rate, everyone is dealing with some or maybe even all of these feelings secretly, without any knowledge of how to use these feelings, to let God turn things around for them to give them hope for their future.  

2 Timothy 1:7 - For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.

In other words, you have all the power to walk and talk with confidence.

The more time you spend with God, the more you will listen to the Holy Spirit. God will help you see clearly and direct you through all your feelings.

With all my Love,

Alicia Eve Varela