Is marriage worth it?

Before we jump into today’s topic of marriage, and if it’s even worth it… I must highlight the fact that I come from a place of “been there, done that.” There is no room in my heart to judge you, because I’m just a sinner, telling stories about how God has helped me through every walk of my life. Allowing myself to be vulnerable, I’m sharing personal life experiences and the lessons I have learned, to essentially display how God’s way continues to win over any plan I have ever had.

Once upon a regular day, I was listening to a Greg Laurie sermon as I often did during my long drives to work in our terrific Miami traffic. Listening to his sermons were my way of realigning with God each day, before I jumped into the hectic workday. On this particular morning, he was speaking about a topic that had nothing to do with marriage, but yet, towards the end he mentioned that living with your partner and having sex, outside of marriage, was a sin. Very simple. Super clear. Extremely annoying – for me! I rolled my eyes, and started to tell myself, it’s okay. And I’m in the clear, and God is okay with my relationship with Ruben (the father of my children). Every day since then, God specifically sent me more messages, and I began to hear the same narrative on the radio, in my devotionals, the pastor at my church – and I never even said one word to anyone. God was just using all the people around me and the things I listen to, to talk to me.

I was left with a decision to make. A decision where I would have to tell Ruben that I could no longer continue living in sin. And if he wanted to be with me and have sex and all the other goodness that comes with partnering up with a fine momma like me, he would have to put a ring on it! It took me forever to come up with the courage of letting him know where I was drawing a new boundary, because of the fear of him rejecting that condition in our relationship. And look, Ruben and I are both millennials, and men his age usually would just be like… “Ok – I’m out”. But like I said, I had to make a decision; continue living with this sin issue, which was making me unhappy, or letting go of my relationship and giving it to God.

I put on my big girl pants and had that difficult conversation with Ruben; explaining to him how God was telling me I can no longer be living in sin, with him. I suppose the rest is history, because we’re coming into our 7th year of marriage in July and God has blessed our union. That’s not to say that we don’t argue and have moments of pure frustration with each other, but God is working in our marriage, because we included him in our relationship the day we said, “I do”.

I share this story to give you an example of how it’s not too late for you to make decisions in your life that will align you and guide you in the direction God wants you to go. More often than not, it’s those uncomfortable conversations that need to happen, that will make a world of difference. I also want to point out that I was already a Christian when all this took place, but as I continued walking with the lord and as I drew closer to him, he began showing me the things in my life that had to change, in order for me to fulfill my destiny. I wish I could tell you that the day I gave my life to Jesus I stopped smoking weed, having sex out of marriage, cursing, lying, gossiping and all of my other junk way of living got tossed out the window… but it didn’t happen like that. Not at all. The Lord has been patient with me, dealing with each strong hold, holding me back; He’s dealt with each and every one of them, one at a time.

Choosing your life partner is the second most important decision you will make. The first decision is choosing to follow Jesus, and the second is picking who you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.

Now, let’s see what God’s word has to say about marriage and compare it to what we are seeing in today’s world.  

From the beginning of time, God established marriage (Genesis 2:24)

“This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”

The purpose of marriage between a man and woman, is to fulfill that companionship we crave as humans. In Ephesians 5:32, the word says that marriage was created to illustrate how Christ and the church are also one. In other words, marriage is to be taken seriously and is important to God.

So, if we know that God created marriage, and he encourages us to be married…why has there been a decline in young people for the desire to be married? In America, 40%-50% of marriages end in divorce; this percentage increases with the second and third marriage. In my opinion, this shows how hard it is for humanity to commit. We struggle to commit to our spouses, just like we waver in our commitment to Christ.

For example, we want to enjoy sex with our partner, but not be tied down by marriage to just one person; we want to enjoy God’s blessings over our life, but don’t want to obey his word. That is why we need Jesus. He is a prime example of what it looks like to commit to God’s will for your life. Did Jesus struggle with the fact that he was sent to die for the sins of yours and mine? He did (Matthew 26:38-39). Yet, he committed himself to what his father ultimately wanted. And it was good.

Deciding to get married will be worth it, because you’ll be obeying God’s word, which was created to help you live out your purpose. Marriage is worth it my friends. Is it hard at times? Absolutely. But we have to stop settling for what is easy and has no value in our life. God’s end game is always to bring us back to him. His commands are not to crush us; His commands keep us from getting hurt and going through unnecessary hardships. Life can already be difficult as it is. But if you listen to the Holy Spirit, he will guide you through every unfavorable situation that falls on your lap.

God is relentless, and when he’s trying to reach you and teach you something, he’ll infiltrate everything you read, see and hear. With that said, if you’re reading this today, it’s not by accident. God is trying to show you a better way.

Your assignment for today.

Write out a prayer to God over your relationship. Ask him to forgive anything you feel convicted of and ask him to show you what steps need to be taken to walk in alignment with his word. If your marriage has serious issues – ask God to help you fix it. If you’re in a relationship, but not married – fix that. Because marriage is worth it.

With all my love,

Alicia Eve Varela.